Those 3 words

*Singing* I miss you....I'm talking to you baby....I miss yoooooouuuuuu 

Don't mind  me, this song has been stuck in my head for a couple days, and has me to thinking. How often do we really tell someone that we miss them? I know I don't do it often. There are few three word phrases that I think shouldn't be used all willy-nilly.  "I miss you" is one of them.  Maybe it's just me, but those few words are something that I don't use lightly.  It may not seem like much to the "missee" but it's big to me as the "misser".  I always feel extra vulnerable when I start to miss someone.  Usually because it catches me off guard, because I don't even know that they have become part of my psyche for the most part, until I actually miss them.  And for me, to actually let down my  guard enough to tell someone that I miss them, it's like admitting that when they are not there, something is lacking in my life.  Not saying that it's a bad thing, but it's just puts me in a place of openness.  What if they don't miss me? Better yet what if  actually did miss me, but are scared to tell me? What if they didn't even realize that I hadn't talk to them (that's even worst)?.  All these questions race through my head.  But me being the type of person that I am, I'm not good at holding things in, so I try to bite the bullet and just say it.  Now on the inside, my stomach is in a knot and my thoughts are racing, anticipating the response.

And then what if you're the "missee", instead of the "misser".  How you react when someones says those 3 little words can effect the whole rest of your conversation and day.  Too long of a pause, then they think you don't even care.  Reply too quickly and they think you're too eager.  Change the subject and...well depending on the person, you may not have windows in your car (drastic but stranger things have happened....not by me, scouts honor).  But get a "I miss you" from from the right person, when you too miss them, and well things can happen....que the fireworks....lol.  Just think about it, have you ever gotten an "I miss you" text and just felt butterflies whenever you thought about it? Think about getting one from that one, that you wanted to tell, but didn't know how they would react or from that one that you're trying to move on from. It's like coming to a fork in the road...to reply or not reply...that is the question.  Decision, decisions, decisions.....

I will say this, it feels good to be the "missee", especially when you can tell that it's genuine .  I don't care if  the "misser" is a ex from way back when life was simple, an associate you haven't seen in 10 years, or a friend that you talked to last week.  It can even be from that ex that you can't stand, something about knowing that they miss you, puts a smile on your face.  Even if that smile really means, "I bet you do because you don't miss your water til the well runs dry" and no one knows but  you.  It feels good to be missed, to know that you have affected someone. 

I was on the waiting at the metro the other day and saw this lady.  She looked tired from a long day at work.  Then suddenly here comes a guy with this little boy, who had to be all of 4, and when he saw her he just went crazy.  His smile just brighten the whole room and he was jumping up and down saying "Mommy, Mommy".  You can tell that he missed her. Her whole demeanor changed, it was like she got a new breath of life.  It was so cute.  I think about how my youngest godson reacts when I see him, whether it's been a day or week, I can always tell when he misses me.  We have this thing that we do when I see him, I pick him up and kiss his cheeks on both sides repeatedly while saying, "Oooo I missed you soooo much" and he just gets tickled pink, literally.  He laughs and laughs, and when I finish he does the same it me, but it's sounds like "I miss oooooo much."  It's just warms my heart every time.

Being the "misser" isn't so bad either, once you  get over yourself, which is always the hard part...but that's a topic for another day. You'll never know if that person you're missing you, unless you tell them. The way I see it, if you miss them, tell them, you never know if you'll be seeing fireworks or shattered glass, but if you don't tell them, you'll see nothing be regret.