Are We Missing It?

So I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about relationships "back in the day".  I'm talking about our grandparents era.  Back then when a guy saw a girl he wanted, no matter the age, he made up his mind right then, I like her, I think I can love her, she's going to be my wife, and all this happened while they were teenagers.  Case in point.  My grandparents were celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary May 2007, and my grandmother is only 72 now in 2011.  My favorite story about my grandparents "dating" was that my PopPop would walk my Nana to school everyday and sit on the steps and read a book while waiting for her to get out of class.  They were young teens and he had made up his mind that she was "the one" and from then until death did them part in July 2007 they were inseparable.  They way I see it, they had "it". 


My big question is, why doesn't that happen now?  And if by far off chance that it does, why do people look at the couple like they just got dropped off from Mars?   It seams that everyone is so focused on "doing them" and "making sure they don't miss out" that they are missing "IT". Yes, I understand that times have changed and the dynamics of society have changed. The men aren't ready settle down just yet, if ever. The women are fully educated with great careers and in some cases sole bacon bringers and aren't thinking about being wives and mothers until they get more settled into their career. But in all that change, it just seems that the ladies have forgot that it's ok to be wives and mothers, and the men have gotten so used to women being " Ms. Independent" they are comfortable in the role of FWB (why buy the cow when you can get the milk, whenever, whereever, and however you want). More importantly and sadly, people have forgotten how to co-exist, to stick it out through the really good and really bad. 

Even my Nana told me that I shouldn't get married before 28, which personally I think is late to just be getting married, (currently age 27 and unmarried) because I don't want to be an old lady having kids, because that means I will be a really old grandmother.  How's that for forward thinking? By 28 she was married with 5 kids.  I don't see the problem with that. Not saying that there aren't struggles and downfalls to that but the way I see it, that's IT.  Now don't get me wrong, she was and is FAR from a stay at home wife.  She's always worked and pulled her share of the load along with my PopPop.  They did something right.  And their friends also have been married for 30, 40, 50+ years.  They are doing something right.  Why change if it works?

If it worked for them....why can't it work for our generation.  Think about it, those were the marriages that last for 30, 40, 50+ years. Isn't that what you want when you think of a future? That ONE someone to share it with?  Now a days everyone is waiting til they are in their late 20a and 30s to even consider looking for a spouse and when they get married it's lasting an average of 5-7 years.  What is "it" that we are missing?  Is it that by time we get to our late 20s and 30s that we are so set in our single ways that we make it hard on ourselves or is it that, we've been taught for so long now that "you need to do for yourself, you don't need anyone else" that we forget that it's ok to have a help mate?  Isn't that all a spouse really is? 

I want to celebrate a 50th anniversary,  if I wait til I'm 30 that's puts my 50h anniversary at 80...if I actually get married on my 30th birthday.  And I was closer to being married at 20, than I am at 27.....The way I see it, 30 is fastly approaching, but that 50th anniversary is so far down the road, only God can even imagine it...and I don't think I'm too upset about it.  I'm happy content with where I am in life.  Just taking it day by day, and step by step, but I will admit, it would be nice to have that ONE that's fully instep with me.