This past weekend I had someone that I love and respect very dearly just walk up to me and ask me was I happy. Just clear out of the blue. It was such a shock because who does things like that? What made it even more shocking was that I actually stopped and thought about my answer and I am really genuinely happy. I'm not talking about content, I mean happy as in I got joy deep down on the inside happy. It's such a great feeling.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying everything is going right in my life, but even with the setback I'm happy with where I am and where my life is headed. I'm even happy about the people in my life. Over the past few years I have removed myself from a lot of people for various reasons and LHM if it didn't make a difference in my outlook and quality of life. Will these people be allowed to reenter? I don't know but I know as it stands right now, I think I've made the right choice. Because by letting go of some people that I was desperately trying to hold on to, I was able to let others in. And although the quantity of people in my life is nowhere near what it was even a year ago, the quality of the people has truly been on a upward trend, and for that I am ever grateful.
Another thing I did was change my outlook. I've been really trying to find the silver lining in every situation. Even the ones that seem like there isn't ANY good in it has some thing good about it. It helps with something else, you just have to look for it, and I have really been making an effort to do just that.
And the big thing I did was not let other's issues effect me like they used to. I used to take on everyone's problems so much that I never had anything left for myself. I would let them transfer all their energy over to me and by the end of the conversation they were feeling better and relieved but I was stuck with their that bad "juju" but now I've learned to put up sort of a block to protect myself. That way I can still be there for those in need and also be there for myself.
But the greatest thing I think I did was really let God handle my situations. It sounds cliche but it's the truth. When I started letting him work out my problems instead of getting stressed out and trying to figure it our on my own, things got so much better. None of the issues that I was going through seemed so unbearable or too heavy. And I became happy. It's a wonderful feeling.
The way I see it, in the end I was the cause of my unhappiness all those years. I just needed to really open my eyes and take a look around. Listen to what was going on around me, and not just hear the noise that was being made, and take action and ownership of my life. And to think, it only took me 27 years to get to this point. As K'Jon says in his song, "My ship has finally come"...I'm just glad I finally let it dock.
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