I've come to learn that sometimes it's just necessary to give some people a nice big slice of KMA cake....it's harsh, but some people just don't get it. You try to be nice, and not say anything, because they are sensitive or it's not really that serious so you try to let it go, or you feel that it won't solve anything in the end. But some people just like to keep pushing the envelop over and over and you feel it building up until you just snap. That build up is called stress. If you don't get a hand on it, it will get a hand on you.
There have been some instances where I've tired everything in my power not cut some people slices of this great cake. I mean I have gone months just holding the knife hoping that they would get the picture, but to no avail. The bad thing about it is, things shouldn't have to get that far, but for some reason, everyone can't see things for someone else's point of view, which leads to constant back and forth. Now don't get me wrong KMA may not solve the issue at hand, but I tell you once given it feels great. It's like a whole load has been lifted. Maybe it's just me, but if I've gotten to the point of giving out slices, then you've probably are just acting like a jerk and I've been letting it go. So it's been building up inside of me for awhile. And that release is like letting out a huge.....burp...LOL. Yep, that's a great way to describe it. Think about it, a burp happens when you have excess gas built up that needs to escape , and a KMA happens when you have excess frustration that needs to escape. Although a burp is usually followed by an "excuse me", while a KMA is followed by more colorful expressions about how you feel about the situation.
What I don't get is why does it have to get to that? Why can't we just leave well enough alone? Why does it take one person to blow up before the other parties get it? Usually after a good fat slice of KMA, the other person finally understands what you've been saying for however long the ordeal has been going on. And that's where my problem with it lies. Why does it take all that? Why does it take for someone to say you know what I just don't care anymore before the other person care or gets the picture? I guess these are all questions that will never get answered, but like I like to tell my friends, I don't like to serve slices of KMA anymore, BUT that doesn't mean I won't.
I bet if the POTUS ( President of the US for all those who don't know), stood before Congress and just started off, "You know what, KMA, I'm the freaking POTUS, yes I'm black, if you don't like it KMA I'm still going to be black when you're finished, yes I beat everyone by a margin that you still can't understand and if you don't like it KMA, yes I'm trying to fix that problems that GWB created over 8 years in 4 but since ya'll "highly educated" people can't do the math to see that's crazy you can KMA and if you don't get your act together you're all fired" he wouldn't be so grey. I'm just saying. It may not solve any of the problems, BUT I bet most of them would straighten up and start acting like they have a little bit of the the common sense that got them elected, and that help solve the problems.
The way I see it, sometimes you just have to let it out. Stress is in the top ten killers of people. It's a very real thing, so do yourself a favor...grab that knife and cut that situation that has been getting on your last nerve a slice of KMA. It will be like a load being lifted.
9/30/11
9/27/11
Apology
To you that have been looking for post. I have been deleting the post that I've put up, I didn't think people would like them, because of some negative feedback that I've gotten. And that's not even my style. So to you, the ones that expect and accept my writing for what it is, I apologize for not posting. I feel I have let you down and I have let myself down a little bit. I also want to apologize to all those that had a problem with MY blog, I'm sorry that I let you think that you had some say in what I write about, or how I write it. But ye not troubled. I've gotten over it and will soon have many post for people to like/or dislike it's their choice.
The way I see it, no one is going to like everything so there's no need to try to please everyone. And if they can't/won't post in a comment about why they don't like it in the first place, it's kinda like calling someone and not leaving a message when they don't answer. What you had to say wasn't really that important to begin with.
The way I see it, no one is going to like everything so there's no need to try to please everyone. And if they can't/won't post in a comment about why they don't like it in the first place, it's kinda like calling someone and not leaving a message when they don't answer. What you had to say wasn't really that important to begin with.
9/20/11
The Little Things
I'm not to fond of being questioned. But there is one question that I love....."How was your day?" This one question just does something for me. As you go through out your day, it seems like there's always so much going on. You always have to be concerned about what is going on all around you, and at the end of the day or even during the middle, it feels good to know that someone is concerned with what's going on with you. It feels good to know that someone is thinking about you. My nana randomly has sent me "thinking of you" cards with stickers all over them since I was a kid. It's not much, but to me, it's the little things that mean the most. I truly believe that people remember the little things more than some of the big things, especially at random times.
Not saying not to do the big things or they don't count. Who wouldn't like a beautiful diamond necklace, ring and bracelet set? But some "just because they are your favorite" flowers are a wonderful treat. A box of "I know you love these" chocolates is delightful. I love Godiva just as much as the next real chocolate lover, but some peanut M&M's will put a smile on my face too. Coming home to a tub full of hot water and bubbles after a day of overtime, now THAT is a little thing, that makes a BIG statement. Finding a little note around the house, or in with your lunch, is a great way to give someone a pick me up during the day. A quick reminder of a random funny memory shared together, will have you both randomly laughing all through the day. Maybe they love music, who doesn't love a good mix tape or playlist, make them one and that's something that they can go back to over and over. These are all things that can put a smile on someone face. If you think money is an issue, there are things that don't cost much, if anything at all other than a thought and a little bit of time. If you don't have an idea, I'm sure there is something on the google that you can find quickly, or even take it back and go to the library. Remember, before there was a "app for that", there was a "how to book."
Now these go both ways, so many females think that only guys are only suppose to do these things. It's a two way street. He wants to know that you're thinking of him too. Send him his favorite flowers at work, he might get clowned by his boys a little bit, but on the inside he'll be grinning. It's ok to rub his feet after a long days work, make sure he washes them first though :). This also goes for the children in your life also. I remember as a little kid, my mom would sit on the couch and rub my feet while I was watching cartoons and ask me about my day. It wasn't much, but it was something that I remember to this day. Eventually that foot rub would turn into a foot tickle and by the end I would be on the floor balled up with tears from laughing so hard. I also remember my mom leaving me half of her Godiva bars, even before I totally understood how great Godiva was. Now, ask me what I got for Christmas or a random birthday, other than a few things I couldn't tell you. Not that I didn't appreciate them when given, but like I said. It's the little things that we remember the most.
I try to do little things for my friends also. If they have kids, I'll call and tell them I'll babysit, so they can have the night off. I am team captain of Team Rent-A-Kid (for me), and Team Rent-A-Parent (for them) after all. A random lunch or dinner invite for a quick chat to catch up are always nice, and if we were out and they mentioned they like something but couldn't get it, if I have a little extra change I may go back and get it for them. In that sense, I'm truly my mother's child. She's famous for this. I saw how her friends would be so happy, and even more how happy she would be to be able to do this, and decided that I would do this also. As they say love is better shown than told, and seeing how I have the best group of friends in the world, why not show them?
The way I see it, now a days we all could use something to smile about. So much is going. There are so many reason to be stressed out, don't believe me, turn on the news for 5 minutes. We all could use a pick me up. You never know what a person is going through, it may be that one little thing that makes the difference for someone and change their whole day, month, even year around. So find a way to put a smile on someone's face. Whether it's a random person or someone that you love dearly. It'll make them smile and it'll give you a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside. Who doesn't like to feel fuzzy? You never know, you might inspire someone to do a little thing for someone else, and it'll keep going on an on, like the song from Lamb Chop's Play Along.
Not saying not to do the big things or they don't count. Who wouldn't like a beautiful diamond necklace, ring and bracelet set? But some "just because they are your favorite" flowers are a wonderful treat. A box of "I know you love these" chocolates is delightful. I love Godiva just as much as the next real chocolate lover, but some peanut M&M's will put a smile on my face too. Coming home to a tub full of hot water and bubbles after a day of overtime, now THAT is a little thing, that makes a BIG statement. Finding a little note around the house, or in with your lunch, is a great way to give someone a pick me up during the day. A quick reminder of a random funny memory shared together, will have you both randomly laughing all through the day. Maybe they love music, who doesn't love a good mix tape or playlist, make them one and that's something that they can go back to over and over. These are all things that can put a smile on someone face. If you think money is an issue, there are things that don't cost much, if anything at all other than a thought and a little bit of time. If you don't have an idea, I'm sure there is something on the google that you can find quickly, or even take it back and go to the library. Remember, before there was a "app for that", there was a "how to book."
Now these go both ways, so many females think that only guys are only suppose to do these things. It's a two way street. He wants to know that you're thinking of him too. Send him his favorite flowers at work, he might get clowned by his boys a little bit, but on the inside he'll be grinning. It's ok to rub his feet after a long days work, make sure he washes them first though :). This also goes for the children in your life also. I remember as a little kid, my mom would sit on the couch and rub my feet while I was watching cartoons and ask me about my day. It wasn't much, but it was something that I remember to this day. Eventually that foot rub would turn into a foot tickle and by the end I would be on the floor balled up with tears from laughing so hard. I also remember my mom leaving me half of her Godiva bars, even before I totally understood how great Godiva was. Now, ask me what I got for Christmas or a random birthday, other than a few things I couldn't tell you. Not that I didn't appreciate them when given, but like I said. It's the little things that we remember the most.
I try to do little things for my friends also. If they have kids, I'll call and tell them I'll babysit, so they can have the night off. I am team captain of Team Rent-A-Kid (for me), and Team Rent-A-Parent (for them) after all. A random lunch or dinner invite for a quick chat to catch up are always nice, and if we were out and they mentioned they like something but couldn't get it, if I have a little extra change I may go back and get it for them. In that sense, I'm truly my mother's child. She's famous for this. I saw how her friends would be so happy, and even more how happy she would be to be able to do this, and decided that I would do this also. As they say love is better shown than told, and seeing how I have the best group of friends in the world, why not show them?
The way I see it, now a days we all could use something to smile about. So much is going. There are so many reason to be stressed out, don't believe me, turn on the news for 5 minutes. We all could use a pick me up. You never know what a person is going through, it may be that one little thing that makes the difference for someone and change their whole day, month, even year around. So find a way to put a smile on someone's face. Whether it's a random person or someone that you love dearly. It'll make them smile and it'll give you a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside. Who doesn't like to feel fuzzy? You never know, you might inspire someone to do a little thing for someone else, and it'll keep going on an on, like the song from Lamb Chop's Play Along.
9/17/11
What You Mean No Toys?
I saw something today, there was a My Little Pony on the side of the street. It made me think about my childhood and all the toys that I had growing up. We weren't rich by no means but we had a lot of stuff. Just recently I saw a facebook status about a little girl I believe that was about 10 that said she's too old for Barbies and other toys like them. Now I was so far from a "girly girl" that I used to dress my Barbies in G I Joe clothes, after I cut all the hair off and let them wrestle and my mom refused to keep buying them, but at ten I was tell playing with toys. I had blocks, Cabbage Patch Kids, My Little Pony, Troll dolls, Pound Puppies, so many stuff animals that I couldn't keep up and everything thing else you could think of and when the toys got boring I had a great imagination. And if I got in trouble, my mom would say no toys for "x" number of days, and my whole would would end. These were the joys of childhood. The things that even still I look back on and happily drift in a sea of nostaliga.
What are the kids doing these days that ten year olds are not playing with toys. How can you not like toys? Is the homeowrk that hard that it takes up all their time? Are they really doing that many chores? Or is it that they are just so engrossed with video games that they forgot how to play with anything not connected to a socket? Have video games really taken over? Are we really that technology driven that even our kids don't know what fun is without a computer chip?
Now don't get me wrong, I love video games, but when I was ten there was Atari, and Nintendo has JUST came out I think, and if you had one of these you were top flight. But we weren't allowed to play for hours and hours.We still played with toys, we had to. I know my mom wasn't letting us "run up her electicity" all day. Maybe it was just me, but at ten I not only had so many toys that my mom would constantly threaten to "throw them in the trash if they weren't put away", but I also was a coloring book fiend. I think I had evey crayon set that ever came out. I remember going ape crazy the first time I say the 64 count box with "robin egg blue". Coloring would take up my Saturdays, after I ate my bowl of Frosted Flakes while watching cartoons of course. These were the good days. The days when your biggest care was if you could get the extra chocolate milk at lunch.
I wonder if the "too old for toys" mentality is wild spread, or is it contained with just a few. Thankfully all the little people in my life under the age of 13 are still toy players. Their Saturday morning aren't like mine though, full of cereal, tv and coloring, because they now have soccer game, football games, ballet practice, and other things that keep them "well rounded" but at least they still know how to enjoy the joys of childhood. The way I see it, if a kid doesn't like toys, they probably don't really understand how great being a kid is. But that can be fixed, the next time you see a kid that has been playing video games longer than 30 mins, unplug the TV and give them a toy or a coloring book. They may look at you like your crazy but they will appreciate it later.
What are the kids doing these days that ten year olds are not playing with toys. How can you not like toys? Is the homeowrk that hard that it takes up all their time? Are they really doing that many chores? Or is it that they are just so engrossed with video games that they forgot how to play with anything not connected to a socket? Have video games really taken over? Are we really that technology driven that even our kids don't know what fun is without a computer chip?
Now don't get me wrong, I love video games, but when I was ten there was Atari, and Nintendo has JUST came out I think, and if you had one of these you were top flight. But we weren't allowed to play for hours and hours.We still played with toys, we had to. I know my mom wasn't letting us "run up her electicity" all day. Maybe it was just me, but at ten I not only had so many toys that my mom would constantly threaten to "throw them in the trash if they weren't put away", but I also was a coloring book fiend. I think I had evey crayon set that ever came out. I remember going ape crazy the first time I say the 64 count box with "robin egg blue". Coloring would take up my Saturdays, after I ate my bowl of Frosted Flakes while watching cartoons of course. These were the good days. The days when your biggest care was if you could get the extra chocolate milk at lunch.
I wonder if the "too old for toys" mentality is wild spread, or is it contained with just a few. Thankfully all the little people in my life under the age of 13 are still toy players. Their Saturday morning aren't like mine though, full of cereal, tv and coloring, because they now have soccer game, football games, ballet practice, and other things that keep them "well rounded" but at least they still know how to enjoy the joys of childhood. The way I see it, if a kid doesn't like toys, they probably don't really understand how great being a kid is. But that can be fixed, the next time you see a kid that has been playing video games longer than 30 mins, unplug the TV and give them a toy or a coloring book. They may look at you like your crazy but they will appreciate it later.
9/16/11
Catching Up and Getting Away
Today let's talk about get away time. To be more specific Ladies/Fellas Night. Now if you're like me, a free night doesn't come but so often, and when they do I try to make the most of it. Recently I realized that I haven't been out with the ladies since about my birthday, which is April 5th by the way. Now I don't have a lot of female friends, but the ones I do have, I love hanging with because they are all nuts ( in a good way of course). We always have a great time, whether it's for a weekend or just a few hours. It's just so hard to synchronize all of our schedules. But when we do it's always good to catch up and spend time away from it all. No babies, no men, just us girls, doing whatever we decide to do. And I'm sure the guys can relate to the awesomeness of a all guys outing.
Lately it seems that we have become too busy with the hustle and bustle of life to actually take the free time. There's always a reason why tonight isn't a good night: the clothes need to washed, my husband/wife wants to go out so who's going to watch the kid, or I'm just so tired for working so much. To me all these are cop outs. Now don't get me wrong, these are all real life things BUT there's a ways to work through these little road blocks, of you really want to go out. You can always throw the clothes in when you're leaving out. I'm sure there's an aunt, cousin, neighbor, god-parent, or somebody that will watch the kid, if you just ask. You being tired from work is just another reason why you should go out, you owe it to yourself to unwind a little bit. I know I do. Remember back in high school, you would talk to your girls/boys during lunch and plan for the weekend and come Friday night, just be out and about roaming the city? I know it wasn't just me meeting the crew at the skating ring or at the IHOP. It was so simple then. We didn't have all the extra stress factors that we have now. Back then overtime only happened at sporting events and bills were what they were singing about on School House Rocks.
Now that we have grown up and started careers and families, it seems that we forgot that it's ok to chill and not do extra work, that can actually wait until Monday. Just to hang out and to catch up with your friends. You may have get a permission slip from your significant other, but there's no shame in that. We've done it at one time or another. Even if you didn't say the words "Can I....", if you've asked "So what's your plans tonight?" hoping that they say they just staying home chilling, you've gotten a permission slip. You're probably laughing because you know it's true. It's OK. :)
Although we have the technology to get in contact with just about anyone at anytime, there's nothing like sitting with someone and sharing a laugh so hard that your back hurts because you can't stop and you literally have tears because you're trying your best to stop laughing but every time you try to stop you start laughing again. Those moments are the ones that help us cope with the rest of life.
The way I see it everyone needs to get out their daily routine sometimes. If you don't eventually you will go crazy with boredom. It may not happen right now, but it will happen. And we don't need anyone catching a charge because they snapped while making the same Friday night dinner that they've made for the past 6 months. So call your girls/boys tell them that they need to find a sitter, permission slip and meet you at the rendezvous spot.
PS Now if you make this a regular thing as in every weekend, don't be surprised if your permission slip gets torn up and revoked.....so use it, but use it wisely. ;)
Lately it seems that we have become too busy with the hustle and bustle of life to actually take the free time. There's always a reason why tonight isn't a good night: the clothes need to washed, my husband/wife wants to go out so who's going to watch the kid, or I'm just so tired for working so much. To me all these are cop outs. Now don't get me wrong, these are all real life things BUT there's a ways to work through these little road blocks, of you really want to go out. You can always throw the clothes in when you're leaving out. I'm sure there's an aunt, cousin, neighbor, god-parent, or somebody that will watch the kid, if you just ask. You being tired from work is just another reason why you should go out, you owe it to yourself to unwind a little bit. I know I do. Remember back in high school, you would talk to your girls/boys during lunch and plan for the weekend and come Friday night, just be out and about roaming the city? I know it wasn't just me meeting the crew at the skating ring or at the IHOP. It was so simple then. We didn't have all the extra stress factors that we have now. Back then overtime only happened at sporting events and bills were what they were singing about on School House Rocks.
Now that we have grown up and started careers and families, it seems that we forgot that it's ok to chill and not do extra work, that can actually wait until Monday. Just to hang out and to catch up with your friends. You may have get a permission slip from your significant other, but there's no shame in that. We've done it at one time or another. Even if you didn't say the words "Can I....", if you've asked "So what's your plans tonight?" hoping that they say they just staying home chilling, you've gotten a permission slip. You're probably laughing because you know it's true. It's OK. :)
Although we have the technology to get in contact with just about anyone at anytime, there's nothing like sitting with someone and sharing a laugh so hard that your back hurts because you can't stop and you literally have tears because you're trying your best to stop laughing but every time you try to stop you start laughing again. Those moments are the ones that help us cope with the rest of life.
The way I see it everyone needs to get out their daily routine sometimes. If you don't eventually you will go crazy with boredom. It may not happen right now, but it will happen. And we don't need anyone catching a charge because they snapped while making the same Friday night dinner that they've made for the past 6 months. So call your girls/boys tell them that they need to find a sitter, permission slip and meet you at the rendezvous spot.
PS Now if you make this a regular thing as in every weekend, don't be surprised if your permission slip gets torn up and revoked.....so use it, but use it wisely. ;)
9/15/11
Those 3 words
*Singing* I miss you....I'm talking to you baby....I miss yoooooouuuuuu
Don't mind me, this song has been stuck in my head for a couple days, and has me to thinking. How often do we really tell someone that we miss them? I know I don't do it often. There are few three word phrases that I think shouldn't be used all willy-nilly. "I miss you" is one of them. Maybe it's just me, but those few words are something that I don't use lightly. It may not seem like much to the "missee" but it's big to me as the "misser". I always feel extra vulnerable when I start to miss someone. Usually because it catches me off guard, because I don't even know that they have become part of my psyche for the most part, until I actually miss them. And for me, to actually let down my guard enough to tell someone that I miss them, it's like admitting that when they are not there, something is lacking in my life. Not saying that it's a bad thing, but it's just puts me in a place of openness. What if they don't miss me? Better yet what if actually did miss me, but are scared to tell me? What if they didn't even realize that I hadn't talk to them (that's even worst)?. All these questions race through my head. But me being the type of person that I am, I'm not good at holding things in, so I try to bite the bullet and just say it. Now on the inside, my stomach is in a knot and my thoughts are racing, anticipating the response.
And then what if you're the "missee", instead of the "misser". How you react when someones says those 3 little words can effect the whole rest of your conversation and day. Too long of a pause, then they think you don't even care. Reply too quickly and they think you're too eager. Change the subject and...well depending on the person, you may not have windows in your car (drastic but stranger things have happened....not by me, scouts honor). But get a "I miss you" from from the right person, when you too miss them, and well things can happen....que the fireworks....lol. Just think about it, have you ever gotten an "I miss you" text and just felt butterflies whenever you thought about it? Think about getting one from that one, that you wanted to tell, but didn't know how they would react or from that one that you're trying to move on from. It's like coming to a fork in the road...to reply or not reply...that is the question. Decision, decisions, decisions.....
I will say this, it feels good to be the "missee", especially when you can tell that it's genuine . I don't care if the "misser" is a ex from way back when life was simple, an associate you haven't seen in 10 years, or a friend that you talked to last week. It can even be from that ex that you can't stand, something about knowing that they miss you, puts a smile on your face. Even if that smile really means, "I bet you do because you don't miss your water til the well runs dry" and no one knows but you. It feels good to be missed, to know that you have affected someone.
I was on the waiting at the metro the other day and saw this lady. She looked tired from a long day at work. Then suddenly here comes a guy with this little boy, who had to be all of 4, and when he saw her he just went crazy. His smile just brighten the whole room and he was jumping up and down saying "Mommy, Mommy". You can tell that he missed her. Her whole demeanor changed, it was like she got a new breath of life. It was so cute. I think about how my youngest godson reacts when I see him, whether it's been a day or week, I can always tell when he misses me. We have this thing that we do when I see him, I pick him up and kiss his cheeks on both sides repeatedly while saying, "Oooo I missed you soooo much" and he just gets tickled pink, literally. He laughs and laughs, and when I finish he does the same it me, but it's sounds like "I miss oooooo much." It's just warms my heart every time.
Being the "misser" isn't so bad either, once you get over yourself, which is always the hard part...but that's a topic for another day. You'll never know if that person you're missing you, unless you tell them. The way I see it, if you miss them, tell them, you never know if you'll be seeing fireworks or shattered glass, but if you don't tell them, you'll see nothing be regret.
Don't mind me, this song has been stuck in my head for a couple days, and has me to thinking. How often do we really tell someone that we miss them? I know I don't do it often. There are few three word phrases that I think shouldn't be used all willy-nilly. "I miss you" is one of them. Maybe it's just me, but those few words are something that I don't use lightly. It may not seem like much to the "missee" but it's big to me as the "misser". I always feel extra vulnerable when I start to miss someone. Usually because it catches me off guard, because I don't even know that they have become part of my psyche for the most part, until I actually miss them. And for me, to actually let down my guard enough to tell someone that I miss them, it's like admitting that when they are not there, something is lacking in my life. Not saying that it's a bad thing, but it's just puts me in a place of openness. What if they don't miss me? Better yet what if actually did miss me, but are scared to tell me? What if they didn't even realize that I hadn't talk to them (that's even worst)?. All these questions race through my head. But me being the type of person that I am, I'm not good at holding things in, so I try to bite the bullet and just say it. Now on the inside, my stomach is in a knot and my thoughts are racing, anticipating the response.
And then what if you're the "missee", instead of the "misser". How you react when someones says those 3 little words can effect the whole rest of your conversation and day. Too long of a pause, then they think you don't even care. Reply too quickly and they think you're too eager. Change the subject and...well depending on the person, you may not have windows in your car (drastic but stranger things have happened....not by me, scouts honor). But get a "I miss you" from from the right person, when you too miss them, and well things can happen....que the fireworks....lol. Just think about it, have you ever gotten an "I miss you" text and just felt butterflies whenever you thought about it? Think about getting one from that one, that you wanted to tell, but didn't know how they would react or from that one that you're trying to move on from. It's like coming to a fork in the road...to reply or not reply...that is the question. Decision, decisions, decisions.....
I will say this, it feels good to be the "missee", especially when you can tell that it's genuine . I don't care if the "misser" is a ex from way back when life was simple, an associate you haven't seen in 10 years, or a friend that you talked to last week. It can even be from that ex that you can't stand, something about knowing that they miss you, puts a smile on your face. Even if that smile really means, "I bet you do because you don't miss your water til the well runs dry" and no one knows but you. It feels good to be missed, to know that you have affected someone.
I was on the waiting at the metro the other day and saw this lady. She looked tired from a long day at work. Then suddenly here comes a guy with this little boy, who had to be all of 4, and when he saw her he just went crazy. His smile just brighten the whole room and he was jumping up and down saying "Mommy, Mommy". You can tell that he missed her. Her whole demeanor changed, it was like she got a new breath of life. It was so cute. I think about how my youngest godson reacts when I see him, whether it's been a day or week, I can always tell when he misses me. We have this thing that we do when I see him, I pick him up and kiss his cheeks on both sides repeatedly while saying, "Oooo I missed you soooo much" and he just gets tickled pink, literally. He laughs and laughs, and when I finish he does the same it me, but it's sounds like "I miss oooooo much." It's just warms my heart every time.
Being the "misser" isn't so bad either, once you get over yourself, which is always the hard part...but that's a topic for another day. You'll never know if that person you're missing you, unless you tell them. The way I see it, if you miss them, tell them, you never know if you'll be seeing fireworks or shattered glass, but if you don't tell them, you'll see nothing be regret.
9/14/11
Are We Missing It?
So I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about relationships "back in the day". I'm talking about our grandparents era. Back then when a guy saw a girl he wanted, no matter the age, he made up his mind right then, I like her, I think I can love her, she's going to be my wife, and all this happened while they were teenagers. Case in point. My grandparents were celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary May 2007, and my grandmother is only 72 now in 2011. My favorite story about my grandparents "dating" was that my PopPop would walk my Nana to school everyday and sit on the steps and read a book while waiting for her to get out of class. They were young teens and he had made up his mind that she was "the one" and from then until death did them part in July 2007 they were inseparable. They way I see it, they had "it".
My big question is, why doesn't that happen now? And if by far off chance that it does, why do people look at the couple like they just got dropped off from Mars? It seams that everyone is so focused on "doing them" and "making sure they don't miss out" that they are missing "IT". Yes, I understand that times have changed and the dynamics of society have changed. The men aren't ready settle down just yet, if ever. The women are fully educated with great careers and in some cases sole bacon bringers and aren't thinking about being wives and mothers until they get more settled into their career. But in all that change, it just seems that the ladies have forgot that it's ok to be wives and mothers, and the men have gotten so used to women being " Ms. Independent" they are comfortable in the role of FWB (why buy the cow when you can get the milk, whenever, whereever, and however you want). More importantly and sadly, people have forgotten how to co-exist, to stick it out through the really good and really bad.
Even my Nana told me that I shouldn't get married before 28, which personally I think is late to just be getting married, (currently age 27 and unmarried) because I don't want to be an old lady having kids, because that means I will be a really old grandmother. How's that for forward thinking? By 28 she was married with 5 kids. I don't see the problem with that. Not saying that there aren't struggles and downfalls to that but the way I see it, that's IT. Now don't get me wrong, she was and is FAR from a stay at home wife. She's always worked and pulled her share of the load along with my PopPop. They did something right. And their friends also have been married for 30, 40, 50+ years. They are doing something right. Why change if it works?
If it worked for them....why can't it work for our generation. Think about it, those were the marriages that last for 30, 40, 50+ years. Isn't that what you want when you think of a future? That ONE someone to share it with? Now a days everyone is waiting til they are in their late 20a and 30s to even consider looking for a spouse and when they get married it's lasting an average of 5-7 years. What is "it" that we are missing? Is it that by time we get to our late 20s and 30s that we are so set in our single ways that we make it hard on ourselves or is it that, we've been taught for so long now that "you need to do for yourself, you don't need anyone else" that we forget that it's ok to have a help mate? Isn't that all a spouse really is?
I want to celebrate a 50th anniversary, if I wait til I'm 30 that's puts my 50h anniversary at 80...if I actually get married on my 30th birthday. And I was closer to being married at 20, than I am at 27.....The way I see it, 30 is fastly approaching, but that 50th anniversary is so far down the road, only God can even imagine it...and I don't think I'm too upset about it. I'mhappy content with where I am in life. Just taking it day by day, and step by step, but I will admit, it would be nice to have that ONE that's fully instep with me.
My big question is, why doesn't that happen now? And if by far off chance that it does, why do people look at the couple like they just got dropped off from Mars? It seams that everyone is so focused on "doing them" and "making sure they don't miss out" that they are missing "IT". Yes, I understand that times have changed and the dynamics of society have changed. The men aren't ready settle down just yet, if ever. The women are fully educated with great careers and in some cases sole bacon bringers and aren't thinking about being wives and mothers until they get more settled into their career. But in all that change, it just seems that the ladies have forgot that it's ok to be wives and mothers, and the men have gotten so used to women being " Ms. Independent" they are comfortable in the role of FWB (why buy the cow when you can get the milk, whenever, whereever, and however you want). More importantly and sadly, people have forgotten how to co-exist, to stick it out through the really good and really bad.
Even my Nana told me that I shouldn't get married before 28, which personally I think is late to just be getting married, (currently age 27 and unmarried) because I don't want to be an old lady having kids, because that means I will be a really old grandmother. How's that for forward thinking? By 28 she was married with 5 kids. I don't see the problem with that. Not saying that there aren't struggles and downfalls to that but the way I see it, that's IT. Now don't get me wrong, she was and is FAR from a stay at home wife. She's always worked and pulled her share of the load along with my PopPop. They did something right. And their friends also have been married for 30, 40, 50+ years. They are doing something right. Why change if it works?
If it worked for them....why can't it work for our generation. Think about it, those were the marriages that last for 30, 40, 50+ years. Isn't that what you want when you think of a future? That ONE someone to share it with? Now a days everyone is waiting til they are in their late 20a and 30s to even consider looking for a spouse and when they get married it's lasting an average of 5-7 years. What is "it" that we are missing? Is it that by time we get to our late 20s and 30s that we are so set in our single ways that we make it hard on ourselves or is it that, we've been taught for so long now that "you need to do for yourself, you don't need anyone else" that we forget that it's ok to have a help mate? Isn't that all a spouse really is?
I want to celebrate a 50th anniversary, if I wait til I'm 30 that's puts my 50h anniversary at 80...if I actually get married on my 30th birthday. And I was closer to being married at 20, than I am at 27.....The way I see it, 30 is fastly approaching, but that 50th anniversary is so far down the road, only God can even imagine it...and I don't think I'm too upset about it. I'm
Just the way I see it
It's finally here, my own blog. I really can't believe it. I have so many thoughts running that I want to put out, that I don't even know where to start. To be honest, I've written, deleted and rewritten this post three times. Don't ask me why, I just did. I think the nerves are getting to me, but it's here now.
Can't say I'll post everyday, because lets be real, you and I know I won't...he he he, but I will post when inspired and it'll be from the heart. That's really the only promise that I can give. You may not like what I write, you may love it, but in the end and it's all said and done.....It's "Just the Way I See It"
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